Yahoo Finance How to Turn Down Requests to Meet, Network or 'Pick Your Brain'
Gain even a little bit of success in your field, and you're likely to start getting requests from strangers or near-strangers to meet, network or "pick your brain."
In the beginning, you might enjoy this -- it's flattering, after all, and it can be a way to pay forward help that you yourself received from near-strangers earlier in your own career. But you might reach a point when your schedule is so busy that you need to start turning down some of these requests in order to focus on your own work priorities or to enjoy some downtime outside of work commitments.
But it's tough to say "no" to people who are reaching out to you. In fact, it's so touchy that many people in this situation end up saying "yes" just because they can't figure out how to decline.
Here are six ways to politely turn down requests to meet, network or pick your brain.
1. Just say no -- kindly. There's nothing wrong with saying, "I wish I could help, but the reality is that my schedule is packed right now, and I need to turn down some requests in order to be able to ever see my family." The vast majority of people will understand this. And would you really want to take time out of your day to help a stranger who didn't respect that?
2. Suggest a different option. It might take up too much of your time to agree to lunch or a coffee meeting, but maybe you'd be willing to offer something else instead, such as a 10-minute phone call or answering a few questions over email. That can often be significantly faster, and it also pushes the person to clarify precisely what they want your input on, as opposed to a more free-floating -- and often longer -- in-person meeting. It's perfectly fine to say, "Unfortunately my schedule makes it tough to fit in coffee meetings, but I'd be glad to set up a 10-minute phone call if you'd like."
3. Ask for more details. Say something like, "Before we talk, could you send me a list of the questions you're most interested in me answering?" Or you might ask for a write-up of the person's business plan or any other helpful documentation. An astonishing portion of people asking to meet will never circle back with the information you're requesting, which will certainly make you feel better about not spending your time on their initial request.
4. Suggest that the person try again in a few months. For instance, you might say, "My schedule is really packed this month, but if you circle back to me in six weeks, it might be easier to set something up." Many people will never follow back up, either because they forget, or because they get the information they're seeking somewhere else.
5. Charge for your time. This isn't appropriate for networking meetings or informational interview requests, but when someone wants to pick your brain for a new profit-making business endeavor, there's nothing wrong with saying, "I'd be glad to set up a short-term consulting agreement. I usually charge $X per hour for this type of input."
6. Try to be helpful in a different way. Perhaps you can refer the person to someone else in your field who you know enjoys taking these meetings or to an online resource with good advice on the topic they're interested in. Or, if you routinely get the same sorts of questions from multiple people, you might even consider writing up a short FAQ that answers the most common questions you receive and supplying that to people when it seems like it would be helpful.
Of course, none of this is intended to imply that you should never help people for free. In fact, the most successful people are usually generous with their time; the key is that they do it strategically. Rather than saying "yes" to any request that comes your way, be thoughtful about the types of requests you're happy to help out with -- and don't feel guilty about turning down the rest.
Alison Green writes the popular Ask a Manager blog, where she dispenses advice on career, job search and management issues. She's the author of "How to Get a Job: Secrets of a Hiring Manager," co-author of "Managing to Change the World: The Nonprofit Manager's Guide to Getting Results" and the former chief of staff of a successful nonprofit organization, where she oversaw day-to-day staff management.
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