- A post from the Reddit 'relationship advice' subreddit began to go viral after a woman said her husband wanted to name their baby after his ex.
- OP asks Redditors for advice on whether her husband is still in love with his ex and how she should proceed regarding their relationship
The post, which was written by an anonymous redditor using a throwaway account, quickly went viral as thousands began to upvote and comment-though not for the reason you might think.
Though the couple certainly couldn't agree on their baby's name, it isn't just any old name the husband in this scenario is gunning for - it's his ex-girlfriend's name.
The post (edited for length and clarity) begins with a quick history of the couple:
"This title might look funny but it's an actual problem between me (23F) and my husband (24M). We've been dating for a year, been married for 2 years. I got pregnant like 7 months ago so recently we started discussing name for the baby."
Apparently, when the couple found out the gender of their child, the husband was adamant about giving her the name of his ex. And not just any ex, as OP explains - the ex. The ex that had caused relationship problems for them in the past. The ex her husband appears to still have very strong feelings for.
"Ever since we found out it's gonna be a girl my husband wants to name it like his ex's name. It's not any ex but the one he dated for long period of time and loved the most. In the beginning of our relationship we had many problems because of her but she moved away so the problems went away. He really loved her and he never hid that from me but I thought it was over once she moved away."
When OP asked her husband to explain his reasoning, he replied that he wanted to be reminded of his ex. As a consolation, she was told that she would be allowed to name their hypothetical second child.
"Now he made it clear that he wants the baby to have that name and I can name the second child. When I asked him why does he want that name so badly he said just because he and his ex didn't work out doesn't mean he doesn't want something to keep reminding him of her. He doesn't understand how much it's affecting me and keeps saying it's just the hormones."
The perturbed mother ends her story with a question:
"Is he still in love with the ex or is it normal that he wants to name OUR child like that?"
Comments quickly began to pour in from sympathetic Redditors, many of whom were outraged and by the husband's behaviour.
"The MOST insane thing I've read ever," wrote u/Yame2010. "Divorce seems inevitable anyway, might as well file."
Some Redditors gave pretty solid advice:
"Tell him to change his own name if he's that obsessed," wrote u/HappyHolidays666. "Tell him that you want to name your second child after one of your previous f**k buddies because the sex was so good you just want to be reminded of it even though things didn't work out," wrote u/Shore16. "Like seriously what the f**k is he thinking. I don't know your husband's feelings towards his ex but it's not normal."
Others brought up valid points regarding the future:
"When your daughter gets older how do you explain that to her?" asked u/klleah. "'Oh honey, daddy wanted to name you after an ex girlfriend because even though things didn't work out with them, that doesn't mean he didn't want to be reminded of her every single day.' I mean really?"
A couple users even shared similar stories, which give OP and her daughter a bleak glimpse into their future:
"I'm a girl who was named after my dad's lover (mum had no idea) and I ABSOLUTELY DESPISE my name. He just casually told me on one occasion. In general, the name is beautiful but when I think about the reason why was I named like that it makes me puke. So for the love of god don't ever name your child by your ex partner, it will bring a bitter taste to your child's mouth (pondering of renaming myself in the future, yes it's that dreadful for me)."
And u/Pers14 shared:
"When my mum was pregnant with me, my dad was FIXED on this one name. My mum found it strange because he was never that interested in anything, and wasn't super gung-ho daddy-to-be.
My mum preferred another name, but she was touched by his insistence and acquiesced to his pick. It came out when I was very little that the name he chose was the name of the 'one that got away,' a girl he dated and she dumped him.
He remained hooked on her many years later. He would throw her name in my mum's face when they fought as years went on. Over time, it became less of a 'thing,' but I know she's not fond of the name. I'm ambivalent. I think my dad was a fool."
Though the comments varied in story and theme, they did all share one specific sentiment: OP's husband is definitely still hung up on his ex, and she ought to go ahead and finalise the divorce before wasting any more time on him.
Do you agree?
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