Yahoo Finance How to know if you’re in a financially abusive relationship
Couples often bicker about money but mundane behaviour like your partner nit-picking your grocery choices could signal the start of something much more sinister.
For Edwina*, this habit marked the beginning of a slow march into financial abuse that lasted 22 years.
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Edwina was a single mother when she met her abusive partner, she told Yahoo Finance.
He wanted more children, so after they got married, she agreed to stay at home and look after the children at his request.
”He liked the old-fashioned way of doing things,” she said.
Things took a turn when Edwina’s husband started criticising her shopping choices. After a time, she gave up and he took complete control over the family’s finances.
After that, things got even worse.
He fell behind on his vehicle payments, until it eventually got repossessed.
“He then took my car, leaving me stranded at home,” she said.
By then, she’d taken a part-time retail job because her children were in school, which turned into a full-time gig to compensate for his poor financial choices.
One day he came home and told Edwina his job now required revolving shifts, which meant she had to quit her job.
“Again, I was stuck at home with no access to money or ability to work.”
She said the family was always on the brink of financial ruin.
“We were always in the hole, utilities being shut off, home under the threat of foreclosure, yet he was spending money on camping trips, bowling, alcohol and drugs.”
Edwina has since divorced her abuser and clawed her way back onto stable financial footing as a writer, video producer and podcaster.
“Some aren't so lucky,” she said.
Financial abuse happens more than you think
Financial abuse is alarmingly common in Australia.
In 2020, around 1 in 30 women suffered financial abuse, and around 1 in 50 men, according to a 2022 Commonwealth Bank study.
This resulted in a $5.7 billion cost to the victims, and a $5.2 billion cost to the economy.
It’s particularly common for perpetrators not to contribute to household expenses, with 26 per cent of female victims experiencing this type of abuse.
Another 27 per cent of female victims had their income controlled by their abuser, and 22 per cent were stopped from working entirely.
Around 15 per cent of females in the survey fell victim to a partner not contributing to the needs of children. Another 11 per cent found themselves on the hook for joint debts.
For male victims, the most common form of financial abuse (22 per cent) they experienced was having their income withheld by an abusive partner.
Worried you or someone you know could be in a financially abusive relationship? Here are some common signs to look out for.
*Last name withheld to protect the interviewee’s identity
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