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‘Rules are meant to be broken’: Should you chip in for your own engagement ring?

Should you pitch in for your own engagement ring? Source: Getty

Between the venue and the flowers, the catering and the dress, weddings can be extremely expensive.

So expensive, in fact, over 59 per cent of couples will get some financial assistance from their parents to foot the bill.

The average wedding costs around $32,333, but it’s a far cry from most couples’ original budget of $22,055.

But the first cost is, of course, the ring.

In Australia, the average engagement ring costs $5,147.

At your average jeweller, that might get you around a 1-carat diamond. But what if you’re a few hundred – or even thousands – off your dream ring?

Would you contribute to your own engagement ring?

Yahoo Finance put a call-out to our readers and asked them whether women should pitch in for their own engagement rings.

Out of the 430 votes, just 29 per cent of readers said the woman should contribute, while a whopping 71 per cent of you said it’s up to the proposer.

“Not very romantic now is it? ‘Will you marry me sweetie?’ ‘Omg yes!’ ‘Good, go into the jewellery store & pay for the ring I’ve chosen for you’,” one user said.

Another said, “If the guy can’t afford an expensive ring just buy a cheaper one.”

One suggested if the proposee is intending to contribute more to the wedding, then it’s up to the proposer to foot the bill for the ring.

Others who were all for bucking the trend suggested you scrap the ring and wedding and “make a down payment on a house”.

“Yes they should. Half half, what kind of stupid question is this?” Another said.

Or, if the proposer is going to pay for the ring, the proposee should “give their significant other a gift of similar value themselves”.

Are proposees contributing to their ring these days?

Sydney jeweller Fairina Cheng told Yahoo Finance that she frequently works with couples where the woman takes part in the design process and shares the price of the ring “to get what she really wants”.

“The conventional engagement ring rules are meant to be broken,” she said.

“Instead of men (in a heterosexual relationship) making all the decisions around the ring, I often work with women who want to be involved in the process.

“This means that they are across all aspects of the discussion, from design to budget. Where their partner is paying for the ring and has a set budget to work with, it’s not uncommon for women to put in their own funds or make a mutual decision with their partner to increase the budget so they can get the ring they want.”

And, Cheng says no-one gets offended either.

“Rarely do they feel like they are doing it the “wrong” way. It’s not taboo, it’s about choice. Many couples will have been living together and sharing their lives and their funds before the engagement comes into the picture.

“Times are changing. It’s less about taboos and traditions than it is about understanding your own relationship and making a decision that’s right for you."

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