Yahoo Finance Is Your Shopping Buddy Making You Spend Too Much?
When you shop with friends or family members, you're often doing it not to spend money but to spend time.
Mona Wood-Sword, who owns a public relations firm in Honolulu, Hawaii, says that shopping for her is a form of therapy. "Especially as a woman, we need our friends around us, filling that void only they can fill with girl talk, gossip, laughter, tears," she says. "Although we just say we're going shopping, a day at the mall with a friend lowers the blood pressure and all that laughter increases endorphins."
But if shopping with friends or family members is something you do a lot, you may have bought yourself a problem. That is, if you often return home with an armful of shopping bags and a crater-sized gap in your bank account. Wood-Sword herself admits that while she is pretty careful shopping, she has occasionally gone overboard.
So if you continually find yourself strapped for cash at the end of your pay cycle, or are carrying revolving credit card debt, and you're looking for workarounds to let you continue enjoying the social aspects of shopping, try the following.
Bring cash. Kendal Perez, a spokeswoman with CouponSherpa.com, based in Fort Collins, Colorado, suggests leaving the credit card at home.
"This helps nip any bad shopping advice in the bud from your pals, like, 'Just charge it.' It isn't an option if you don't have your credit or debit card with you," she says.
Of course, if you're nervous about leaving the plastic at home, you could split the difference -- bring cash and plastic and vow to only use the latter if you go slightly over budget. Still, Perez points out that if you bring $50 in cash and end up wanting to spend, say, $65, you can always look for discounts, not just at the stores but online, if you have your mobile phone with you.
Andrea Woroch, a Santa Barbara-based shopping consultant, also likes the bring-cash approach. She adds that if you don't have enough money, you can always ask if you can leave an item on hold, and then return to buy them after thinking it over.
"The time it takes you to get cash and return the store will likely make you realize it's an unnecessary purchase," she says.
Take a hands-off approach. If you're shopping with a friend, and you're really along for the company more than looking to make a purchase, look but don't touch, Woroch advises.
"Many studies show that shoppers who touch and handle products are more likely to buy them," Woroch says. "Avoid the feeling by not touching anything. Trying on clothes that make you look good will tempt you to buy them."
Know your triggers. Just as experts warn grocery shoppers not to shop when they're hungry, since they're likelier to fill the cart with more food than they need, there may be certain circumstances that cause you to spend more at certain shops.
"Identifying the triggers that cause you to spend and buy on impulse is crucial for controlling your finances and avoiding debt," Woroch says. So if you tend to spend more with a certain friend, you may want to find something else to do. Or avoid the clothing stores, but shop elsewhere, if you're more likely to spend less at, say, a bookstore.
Use your friends to shop strategically. Perez suggests using your shopping trips for research and not actually spending.
"You can still enjoy trying things on or playing with shiny gadgets and make mental notes about the product and what you like. Then, head home and do more research," Perez says. "Can you find it online for less? Is something comparable being sold secondhand?"
She adds that by doing this, you're still having fun, and you are still shopping (eventually), but you may end up spending far less in the long run.
Wood-Sword also uses her friends for good and not reckless shopping. She says she often saves important purchases for outings with her friends because they can offer give her good advice and help her not waste money. For instance, if she's going to buy an outfit for a special occasion, she will solicit their opinions and is more likely to wind up with something she is happy with.
Try honesty. Tell your friends that you're on a budget. There was something several years ago that affected a lot of people in the country: a giant recession. Maybe you remember it? If your friend is any friend, he or she will understand if you say that you're on a money diet and can't fall off the wagon.
"My friends know when I'm on a budget and will actually help with that," Wood-Sword says.
If you're wishing, however, that you had better friends because they're all pretty lousy at keeping your spending habits under control, Wood-Sword is sympathetic, saying that it's harder to have that willpower and those types of friends when you're younger.
"I think I felt more pressure in my teens and 20s to fit in, but as you get older, you know that true friends won't let you max out your credit card," Wood-Sword says.
And if a friend forgets about your budget and insists, for instance, that you buy some awesome outfit, "you don't have to be bitter or defensive about it," says Perez. "Simply let them know whatever they're suggesting you buy isn't in the budget right now, but it's a great recommendation."
Perez also points out that your shopping buddy may be glad to hear that you're trying to control your spending. "Exercising restraint in pursuit of financial well-being can serve as inspiration," she says.
In other words, maybe your friend wouldn't mind cutting back on his or her spending as well.
But what do you do if your friend sees you as the rain that comes down on parades and blankets? And no matter what you do or say, your friend still pushes you to spend more, or buys lavishly in front of you, knowing full well that thrift shops are more your speed right now, not high-end department stores?
That may be a sign that there's something wrong with your friendship, or your friend, says Irene Levine, a psychiatrist and author of the book, "Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend."
"Large disparities in income or spend can topple the equilibrium of a friendship, especially if both people can't respect and understand the differences," Levine says. "The friend with the larger budget should be sensitive about where she shops and how much she spends when she's with someone who can't afford those luxuries."
If your friend just doesn't get it, Levine says that you may want to come up with other activities that you both enjoy together -- and that you both can afford.
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