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London Larks: From Salt Bae (again) to Anthony Joshua, your weekly dose of capital humour

·3-min read
Anthony Joshua declared a reasonably unorthodox goal this week (Getty Images)
Anthony Joshua declared a reasonably unorthodox goal this week (Getty Images)

Utterly…butterly?

James Martin turned a few heads this week with the cover of his latest book, simply and efficiently named: Butter.

The image in question shows Martin sat in front of a bowl, clutching a fistful of butter with his bare hand and crushing it so hard that it almost seems to have reverted into milk.

Martin, meanwhile, stares passionately at the butter as if seeing it for the first time in his life. Like ancient humanity with fire, perhaps, or a toddler with Play-Doh.

A chip off the block

In other food related news, the Cypriot village of Xylofagou also raised eyebrows after revealing their latest monumental statue: a giant potato.

The good news, though, is everyone seemed thrilled about the new addition. Aptly named “The Big Potato,” community leader George Tasou praised the sculpture’s future as a “landmark” to celebrate the region’s local potato variety - the “spunta.”

And addressing some of the cruder comments made regarding the potato’s appearance, he added: “Whether we like it or not, this potato, the spunta, is thin and long. That is, I think, talk of a mind possessed.”

Hairy-tales

If you’ve been thinking about a fresh new ‘do, it might be worth popping to India this weekend.

Barbers in the northern town of Dabwali have turned heads (quite literally) with a series of remarkably accurate hair portraits sculpted onto the back of clients’ scalps.

Featured celebrities include Michael Jackson, Cristiano Ronaldo, and Mickey Mouse. Voldemort à la Professor Quirrell, anyone?

Canine do it? Yes he can!

 (Getty Images)
(Getty Images)

Speaking of shapeshifting, Anthony Joshua declared a reasonably unorthodox goal this week: to become “a dog.”

Joshua has been training with Ronnie Shields, Mike Tyson’s old coach, ahead of a scheduled rematch against Oleksandr Usyk in March.

Shields said of the training: “The first thing he told me when he came here, he told me ‘listen, I know people don’t think I’m a dog, I’m just a pure boxer.’”

“He told me, ‘I’m going to be a dog in this fight. I just need you to show me how to be the best dog that you can teach me to be.’”

Although it’s perhaps unusual to see a dog in the ring, we can’t be sure there’s any rules against it.

But if Joshua really is keen to be taught to be the best dog he can be, we recommend starting with training treats and building up from there.

Un-Bae-leafable

 (Getty Images)
(Getty Images)

And finally, in the latest instalment of the Salt Bae saga, a London TikToker has now created his own gold-leaf-encrusted steak seeking to highlight the expensive prices at Bae’s Knightsbridge restaurant.

The steak, if eaten in the realm of Bae himself, would cost you £1500. But in the TikTok video, the creator claims to have made the same meal for a much more reasonable £64.22. If you’re curious about this sum, (let’s be honest, why wouldn’t you be), items included President butter for £2, garlic for 60p, coriander for 70p, steak for £32.92, and edible gold for £28.

Much wagyu about nothing, if you ask us.

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