Yahoo Finance Divorce: How to successfully end a marriage for just $4,895
Nicole shares her money advice for a successful end to a marriage.
I kept the cost of my recent divorce to just $4,895 in total. And here’s the thing: that is all my former husband and dear friend paid too.
I’m sharing those very personal details because they point to the secret for ‘successfully’ dissolving a marriage or de facto relationship (of course, it is almost always deeply sad).
That secret is simple: look after each other. Forget whatever has transpired before. This is the way to ensure you will most easily rebuild yourself afterwards.
Here are my top, and unfortunately personally tested, tips to look after each other in divorce – financially, emotionally and even practically – so that you get the best outcome for all.
How to look after each other (and yourself) financially
Divorce or separation is a process. Who gets to keep what is usually the main source of friction and the derailment of an amicable and economically viable asset settlement. Involve lawyers at this stage and you’ll both kiss a good chunk of the marital money goodbye.
Here’s the vital fact to know before you verbalise a single thought about the separation of your assets: a fair split must incorporate each person’s contribution to a partnership.
Also by Nicole Pedersen-McKinnon:
Earned the most money? Ditch any idea about getting to keep more… especially if you have children. You’ll just start a potentially very expensive fight if you try.
Each person’s contribution, as per the courts, is far from just a financial one. Parenting responsibilities are valuable and valued – how else would the other person, once children were born, have been able to work?
A stay-at-home parent – who has given up career opportunities and superannuation – may receive a compensatory portion of the assets even greater than 50 per cent through the judicial system, especially if the other partner’s future earning potential is now higher.
With that as your framework, what asset split is truly fair and equally safeguards your futures? If you can agree between you, without lawyers, you will each keep a whole lot more.
You will each need a lawyer to enshrine your agreement through a consent order with the court or a private binding financial agreement. And you should do one of these.
We split the cost of our consent order, which was $6,600 for one party and $2,200 for the ‘respondent’, landing at $4,400 each. This included a $180 cost for filing the consent order.
How to look after each other practically
That brings us to the practicalities of ending the partnership, which are extensive and can seem endless. My advice is to just tackle them one at a time.
But here’s how you stay on good terms: resolve to share the administrative burden – playing to each other’s strengths. There will be documents to find, sign and get witnessed, possibly loans or bridging finance to apply for and probably asset sales to organise.
A standard, non-contested divorce costs just $990 (contrast that with a defended matter, which sets you back $695-$945 a day – then there are the legal costs).
And that outlay of $495 each brought us to our total $4,895.
Sharing the rigmarole and working in tandem will preserve as much time as possible to keep earning as much as you can during this period for you both to manage your normal lives and the perhaps-inevitable relocation.
On this, another strategy we used to keep the largest chunk of our assets for ourselves was to continue living together in the family home for nearly half a year after we separated. If you can manage to do that, the savings in hotels and temporary accommodation will be huge.
Finally, in all of the above, consider carefully any kids. They are watching – even when you think they are not.
They are watching – even when you think they are not. Psychologists – and experience – tell me that how you relate to each other now and after is the key determinant of how well they cope.
Nicole Pedersen-McKinnon is the author of How to Get Mortgage-Free Like Me, available atwww.nicolessmartmoney.com. Follow Nicole on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
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